I’m betting you’ve heard of the “First World Problems” memes that float around online, as well as the derivations of them. I looked around, and do you know what? I didn’t see any “Knife Addict Problems” anywhere. I thought it would be interesting (and entertaining) to do a post on the problems knife addicts face, so take a look and add to the problems listed below. These are meant to have truth to them, but to be humorous as well. What problems do you encounter as a knife addict?
Knife Addict Problems:
- All I have for food is Ramen because of my new knife
- This knife is perfect, but the pocket clip has the wrong orientation
- I only have room for a phone or a second knife in my other pocket
- (Internal Conflict) I’m excited about my new knife, but I’m scared my wife will find out about it. I want to use it, but I also want to hide it…
- I’m bored with all the knife reviews because I’ve already seen them all
- I had to tape together a receipt I needed because I already did a sharpness test on it
- They keep making more knives… so I have to buy more…
- I can’t use the lanyard hole on my tip-down carry
- Some guy asked if I got my 250-dollar knife from Walmart
- It’s not socially acceptable to open and close your knife repeatedly at work
- I have more knives than I have places to put them
- Saying, “Oh, I thought you said you did want me to buy more knives,” isn’t flying anymore
- I’m running out of arm hair. And paper.
- I can’t express my affinity for knife culture without getting concerned looks
- Every knife is in stock except the one I want
So tell us; what problems have you encountered because of your knife addiction?
For further help in coping with your knife addiction, follow our three step guide.
From all of us here at Blade HQ, have a great weekend and enjoy your blades!
I have to carry a second, bad knife to lend because everyone thinks they can borrow mine. No sir, you can get your own knife if you want to cut carpet.
I have to walk back to my vehicle all the time to put my knife up when going to sports events or government buildings.
Every day that’s not New Knife Day carries with it a little sadness..
I got too many knives in today and I already picked a favorite.. now I will never know what the others even offer.
Not really a problem just have to remember other things come first. Right now, son needs braces. So no new knives for a while.
Once i finally got my girlfriend into knives, she is no longer content with the cheaper knivea i give her.
Haha!!! I love it!!
Oh, self control. So necessary, but so difficult sometimes.
Love it! Lots of different stuff than the list above, too. Nice work : )
– You have to buy yet another display case because you just can’t fit anymore into the current one(s).
– You will drop $400 on a knife without thinking about it, but struggle to decide whether or not you want to waste the money on MUCH cheaper items…even if you NEED them.
– You have hundreds of knives and worry because there are still hundreds of knives that you want, but you just don’t have the money for them all.
– You start making knives just so you can make stuff you like but can’t afford.
– You go look through your collection and run across a knife you can’t remember buying or even owning.
– You do the previous more than once.
– You buy a knife that you’ve been looking for forever and when you finally get it you go to put it up and realize that now you have 2.
– You get so many packages in the mail you can’t remember what you bought or what could even possibly be in the next box.
– You start selling/giving away your cheaper knives so you can make room for new ones.
– You buy knives you don’t even particularly like just because you got a good deal on them.
You must be a knife addict : ) I especially like the one about making knives
Yeah, but I don’t consider it a problem.
Every knife I want I can’t afford.
SHOT Show and Blade Show booth review videos are addictive and make me want blades that won’t be released for months,.
– You have trouble deciding what knife you want to carry…daily.
– You carry multiple knives sometimes and still have others in your vehicle(s) at all times.
– You buy the same knife multiple times because you can’t decide which color/material of scales you like the best.
– Then you buy the same knife AGAIN, but this time the tanto blade in all the colors above because they released it after the other and you couldn’t go without.
– You sit here thinking of all the stuff that happens in your daily life because you are addicted to knives.
Yeah- I’m betting knife addicts are among the most patient people in the world for that very reason; they always have to wait.
Although almost everything mentioned applies to myself, the thing I find most “pitiful” in the original post is that I know where meme with the collection of knives comes from.
You use your knives mainly to open boxes of new knives.
When impulsively purchase a knife when you knew you should not have done that. It just happen to me last week, again haha some one please help me.
I give away a lot of knives, but it’s not necessarily just the cheaper ones. Sometimes I buy knives just to give them away.
you knives sent to your work so the wife doesn’t know how many you have bought this year. (blade Hq frequent buyers club anyone).
Please don’t let this next one be just me,
you spend time seeing which knife goes best with what suit your to wear and buy another knife to compliment it if you don’t already have one.
Get on a custom order list for a particular knife maker.. knowing full well that Pluto may be a planet again by the time your knife is built. (or skip a President, )
this is what those utility blade knives are for. now if only i could find one that doesnt look totally awful.
All of these ring so so true!!?! Especially the wanting to use, but hiding from my wife lol. I think though, as of now I have a complete collection pending what the new year brings. I do want to add “have the perfect knife, but the sheath is crap so you’ll have to get one made!” That is always my problem it seems.
Why do I watch every YouTube video on the knife I just bought after instinctively buying it validating exactly what my instincts told me in the first place?
Wife: “Stop that flicking noise.”
All of my pockets are torn up from pulling my blades out everyday.
My knife doesnt match my outfit.
I sharpen my knives even when I dont need too.
No one understands….
When your wife/associates look at you like you’re a future serial killer… :-/ fail.
You have to set aside part of your paycheck just for your knives
When you get some extra money, you already know what knives you are going to buy, and then you start looking again…
True story from my son. Forgot to move 3 knives from carry-in to suitcase. Airport security confiscated them. When they got on plane, my son was laughing because they missef a couple.
Nut.
He wirked as a security guard at the gate of a weekend rock concert. He knew the value of every knife they confiscated.
That is impressive! We came up with the text for all of the memes, but I have to say that even I don’t know where the pictures came from- our graphic designer compiled those.
Someone told me – “It’s just a knife.”
I discovered another sign today… You plan to give your wife a knife for valentines day.. Her first real folder. (She tolerates my obsession). You discover while wrapping said present that the pink handled spyderco squeak would really be a nice addition to the collection…. Ahhhh.
You buy an extra knife just so you can get the free shipping!